Bulletproof Unicorn

Bulletproof Unicorn

Presented by Center Stage Theater


Center Stage Theater presents

Written and Performed by

Stacie Burrows

December 8 - 10, 2022

What’s so funny about a comedian’s drunk brother threatening to murder her? Turns out, Everything.

Fresh off the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and two sold-out shows in Los Angeles, Stacie Burrows brings her new solo dark comedy Bulletproof Unicorn to Center Stage Theater! Audiences find themselves laughing far too hard at the harrowing yet hilarious, true tale of her brush with death at the hands of her drunk brother.

Los Angeles-based comedian Stacie Burrows is thrilled to tell her story at Center Stage Theater. Armed with nothing but glitter and good intentions, she went to Texas to fix everything that was wrong with her dysfunctional family, inadvertently placing her kids in the line of fire. Lovers of dark humor will appreciate the punchy way she describes how her misguided intent to help her estranged, alcoholic brother went way off the rails. Stacie gets caught in a web of helpfulness. In her quest to save her kids, she battles religious zealots, drunks with guns, and far too many dead dogs.

"Reminiscent of a Johnny Cash song – dark and raw underneath while buoyantly clipping along on the surface with Stacie Burrows’ comedic style." Comedian Greg Walloch

“Bulletproof Unicorn is so mad; you can’t believe it’s a true story!” Janice Kernoghan-Reid, Artistic Director of Replay Theatre Belfast

“The tale Stacie Burrows tells, of her alcoholic brother, her own desire to help, and guns in Texas, with a full supporting cast populated by her interesting family, is one of the wildest of wild rides, and more so because it’s based on real events.” One4Review, Edinburgh

Learn more here!

Performance Dates and Times:

Thursday, December 8 at 7:30 PM
Friday, December 9 at 7:30 PM
Saturday, December 10 at 7:30 PM

Ticket Prices:

General Admission: $30
Patron Ticket: $50 (Includes a free drink)

**All sales are final. No refunds or exchanges.**

All seating is general admission unless otherwise noted. For all performances, there is limited late seating once the performance begins. Please plan your arrival time accordingly.

There are no social distancing requirements in place for seating. There are no vaccine or testing requirements at this time. Masks are encouraged but not required. We are continuing our mitigation efforts. The HVAC system for the theater is set to bring in 100% fresh air. We are using CDC-recommended MERV-13 filters, the air is turned over 7.35 times an hour, and we also have portable HEPA air purifiers and our generous use of hand sanitizer.  (thank you to the Santa Barbara Foundation!) All of our staff are fully vaccinated, and performers are either vaccinated or tested negative before performing.

You can use either e-tickets, print-at-home tickets, or request Will Call tickets to be waiting for you at the Box Office. If you have any questions, please email Executive Director Teri Ball at

Thank you to everyone in the community who supported us through this prolonged intermission. We would not still be here without your support.